He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
