the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He better not be in your backpack
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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