She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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