I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
