matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
