Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
