Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
