he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
