Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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