please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Do vagina's smell?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
