his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
vagina is talking i cant
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
And then my night got REAL pukey
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
