Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
