so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
