tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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