Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
