When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
