what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
