yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
