thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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