i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
