This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
