What did we do last night that was yellow?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Randomize