Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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