Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
