nutella sex= disaster
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
