hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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