Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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