I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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