i think my mom watched the whole time
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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