To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I still have a little drunk in my system
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
