her vagine was all disorganized.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
