3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I cut my penus on the lid.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
