and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
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Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
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I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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