it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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