you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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