In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
