masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
