even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
