Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
