Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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