Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize