I'm lost and stupid without you.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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