yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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