Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
