there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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