That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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