Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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