I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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