im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
