as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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