dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You're a waste of cheezeits
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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