were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
