i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
