so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
