it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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