ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
