You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
birth control should be required to get into college
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
