Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize