did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
