Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
where does the pee come out of this thing
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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