god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
