OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
